To those who don’t know I am back in the UK: Now this is as wonderful as you may expect; I’m seeing family and old friends, walking around familiar streets and experiencing our tropical climate – however it is also becoming increasingly frustrating. This is for one reason and one reason only: I’m on a hunt for […]
“The best laid plans of mice and men…and Henry Bemis…the small man in the glasses who wanted nothing but time. Henry Bemis, now just a part of a smashed landscape, just a piece of the rubble, just a fragment of what man has deeded to himself. Mr. Henry Bemis…in the Twilight Zone.” -Rod Sterling, The Twilight Zone
There are days when I’m on top of the world and days when I’m at the bottom. More the latter, it seems.
Honestly, where did everybody go? I had minor surgery and concentrate so much on job searching, I’ve only just recently noticed several writers I followed on WordPress have either left or locked up their blogs to selected readers only. Is there something going on with WordPress no one has told me about? It’s like a scene from The Twilight Zone where a man wakes up and finds everyone gone. I hope I don’t break my glasses. Where ever you all have gone, I wish you well and hope you stay in touch!
My erratic and anxious mind makes it difficult to explain if I am doing well or not. I have a hard time looking at my success and failures from an objective point-of-view. I am still applying to jobs and it feels hopeless at times, yet I am getting interviews this year for the first time since 2007. I have dozens of jobs on my Indeed.com list and I spend some days just staring at the list with the feeling I have no enthusiasm for any of these positions. Sometimes I apply and sometimes I don’t apply at all. Even the library positions provide me no zest. My computer used to give me joy, but now I see it as just a job search kiosk. Whether I get up early in the morning or sleep late well into the day, there’s never enough time. I have a hard time having fun or enjoying anything until I’m assured of a job. Ironically, this anxiety makes me postpone applying and I just surf the Net for hours. It’s a Kobayashi Maru problem. It’s June and I thought with my new vigor and job hunt strategy, I would at least have a part-time position now.
My job coach has encouraged me to apply to non-library jobs in addition to librarian jobs. I’ve gotten several interviews for retail jobs, but I can’t help thinking that my bachelor and master degrees weigh against me in those positions. It doesn’t help that I’m an introvert and I have trouble showing “enthusiasm” for anything, even if I genuinely enjoy it. You just have to believe me when I say I want the position and would do my best at it. My word is all I have.
The myth I’ve been told about libraries refusing to hire people with Master of Library Science (MLS) degrees due to pressure from the American Library Association (ALA) apparently isn’t true. I have been getting calls and invites to interview for paraprofessional positions now. The fact that they are considering me means something has changed in the library world. In academic libraries in my area, you have to have an MLS for part-time positions. A few years ago, even a year ago, this would have been alarming. I’m not sure what the ALA thinks of these new developments, but I’m always glad the ALA gets proven wrong. Being a ALA member certainly hasn’t given me an edge or opportunity. There’s also a greater chance those in my position who got their degrees from the height of the Great Recession might have a chance at a job now.
It’s a mixed bag with this blog post. Some hope and some despair. It’s better than my last post, but it could be brighter. I suppose things will get better in time. I feel, though, there’s never enough time. For anything.
“Of course, no man is entirely in his right mind at any time.” -Mark Twain, The Mysterious Stranger
My apologies yet again for the long hiatus. My grand plans to post more often and add more content have not gone well.
My job search, Photoshop class, and my anxiety issues keep me feeling that I cannot do anything fun. I hate job searching. It is so easy to procrastinate from it (like right now), especially when I am being encouraged to find work outside of my specialty areas of libraries and museums. Everyone says job searching is the worst job you will ever have. I have no idea or measure if I am on the right track. For example, should I be working 8 hours a day searching? 5 hours? As I am able? I have started getting interviews, however. One at a retailer (that ended in rejection) and two librarian job interviews. I supposed that means I am doing something right. I apply to every library-related job in my geographic area I can find. I even applied to jobs in far-flung places in the state, though I stopped doing that months ago. Employers are not too keen about helping with moving expenses or compensating job candidates (unless you’re a bigwig) for traveling anymore. Also, I honestly do not want to move too far away from my family. The poisonous rhetoric against the unemployed and the condescending, contradictory, and confusing job search/interview advice further tear me down. I no longer read any job advice on the Internet since it drives me mad. I over-think and over-analyze to a point of sickness. At some point, you have to “publish or perish” your cover letters and resumes until something sticks. You have to make a stand like Leonidas at Thermopylae.
I spoke about my anxiety in a previous post. There are days and moments when I feel so ready and accomplished. Then, there are the days and moments when I am despondent and unable to focus at all. I lean towards a depressive and anxious nature, though I do hide it well in public. That is one of the reasons Mark Twain is one of my favorite authors. He had a humorous and funny side, but also a dark and depressive side. An erratic nature runs in my family and it frightens me that I may get worse over time instead of better. I keep chugging along and try finding something to do that makes me happy, like volunteering. I wish I were more successful at it.
Now, if you, dear reader, do have any advice for my predicaments and even have a link you want to share, feel free. If you have any questions you want to ask, feel free. I have no problem with it. If you have any job leads, want to network, etc,. let me know and I will see what I can do.
As with my previous post, I will try to update the blog more in the future.
“It’s only a flesh wound!” -The Black Knight, Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail
My apologies for the long hiatus. I hope everyone had a happy holiday! Mine was simple, but fine. No one had to go to the hospital, at any rate.
I’m still dealing with job searching and the anxiety that comes with it. I did get an interview for a part-time job. It was an unexpected interview. I got a phone call and they wanted to interview me in one hour. Yes, you can get a business suit on in only a few minutes (it helps to pre-tie your tie). The job is not library or museum related or full-time (as I thought it was based on the job description), and I fear I was not as ebullient as I should have been. Still, I answered as honestly as I could, and I tried to be myself. It’s not easy as an introvert and shy person to do interviews. I do enjoy helping people, though I worry that I’m not “clicking” with them. The snap interview may actually have helped me as I did not have time to brood so much about it. Even if I do not get the job, I learn more about the interview process and more about myself. Next time, I’ll learn more about the hiring company and their services/products.
I have taken something of a hiatus from the dreaded retail stores that require Applicant Tracking Systems and bizarre exams I haven’t seen since high school. I can only handle so much of the same, inane, impersonal, inhuman, inhumane questions over and over again.
I’ll do best to start posting again in the near future. I just wanted to make a quick blog post to say “I’m not dead!”